What do we live for?

"The crazy thing is that Kristof in real life is an exceedingly cautious man, the kind of guy who never exceeds the speed limit. Traveling with him, on my first trip to the killing zone, I discovered an unassuming, disarmingly sweet, mild-mannered guy. He's the sort who would enjoy the use of a pocket protecter, if he knew he wouldn't be ridiculed. And yet there he was, racing into areas being attacked by armed militias, who, if they knew who he was, might like nothing more than to silence him. After seeing him emerge from interviewing people in a village preparing for a Janjaweed attack, his eyes bloodshot, his hair and face covered with dust from having slept in the open desert, I thought this pocket protector reporter deserved a cape."

Okay - so the quote above is about a dude named Nicholas Kristof. The kind of guy I'd like to be, but I am much more unassuming than that, so . . . right. I don't think I'm quite as cautious, definitely wouldn't be caught dead with a pocket protector, but also probably woudln't be racing into areas being attacked by armed militias, so . . .

I dunno - what do we live for anyways? I'm definitely feeling like I'm becoming less radical, less free, less daring in my old(er) age. I like to think that once upon a time I would have risked it all for Truth and Righteousness. Now, however, I feel like I'm old, and tired, and getting rather conservative. I support people who are willing to take risks in the name of Good. I'm just not willing to put myself on the line - I've decided to come down off the barricades. That's kind of a depressing thought, but there it is.

Maybe, if it was something going on in my own life, something that I thought was wrong, I'd be ready to stand up and say, "fuck, no." This isn't happening on my watch, without a fight. At least, I'd hope that I'd be up for the fight. But, I used to be keen on the idea of looking for conflict - like the guys that went to Spain to fight against the fascists. Some revolutionary, eh?